Goodbye Tatay

It took me awhile to get to know Tatay. Although I met him over 12 years ago when Andreas first became a friend, it was difficult to understand him. He was always a bit elusive and mysterious, prompting us to call him Andreas’ Snuffalupagus dad because Andreas was always talking about him but we never saw him. Soon, bits and pieces of his personality came together as I begun to understand this great man. He was a man of science but also a man of God.

He never talked that much, at least when I knew him. To say he was a man of few words is appropriate, but the words I’d hear him utter were always entertaining or new such as strombotiko (def:over the top, outrageously extravagant). Or his words were educational, because he was a natural teacher by nature. Or his words were historically trivial funny one-liners.

Tatay was fabulously smart – graduating with multiple degrees in chemistry, engineering and finally with a doctorate in natural sciences. BUT despite this academic background, he was a big fan of Steven Seagal &Van Damme, movies and tv shows like Charlies Angels and A-Team. He liked shows where the hero was clearly good and the villain was clearly bad. I get the impression this reflected him and the way he saw the world – there were no grey areas and his life was guided by a moral compass uncomplicated by reasoning and bargaining. His sense of morality was uncompromised. But what I admired in his most was he lead by example. He was not a preachy man, never pushed his beliefs on others and never passed judgment. When he had an opinion, he would rather keep it to himself. His actions spoke louder.

We know he was a devout man of God, attending mass faithfully every day, rain or shine – walking the few kilometers to the church in his pristine white polo and white bitin pants. This was his uniform of sorts, much like Einstein who wore the same thing everyday. He was practical enough not to fuss about such frivolous matters such as fashion. He needed his time and mind for other things. I had the impression his silence just meant he was calculating some complex scientific question in his head.

He was a man not without his eccentricities. While many knew him as a teacher and a chemist, he was also a money launderer. Not the illegal sort, but of the literal sort as I one time walked into their bathroom in Hoover with peso bills neatly being dried by the bathroom sink. Andreas said that he just likes his bills clean and germfree.

When Andreas and I had the opportunity to leave for the U.S., we questioned ourselves knowing that Tatay and Mama would be left behind in the Philippines. He never said much on the topic but I asked him one day what he thought about it. He gave us his blessings, telling us very simply – “Auey, I had the chance to live my life and walk my path. Now it is time for you and Andreas to walk your own.”

Today as we say goodbye to Tatay, who will walk his own path now to be with the Lord – let us remember him as man of god, a man of science, and a man who believed action truly spoke louder than words. I’d like to imagine him now in heaven, a germ-free clean environment, floating with the Charlies angels wearing his pristine white polo shirt and bitin pants, watching Steven Seagal all day, while guiding us all from above. I love you, Tatay and we'll miss you dearly.

~ Taken from the eulogy I delivered at Tatay's memorial mass, Sept 19, 2006